Today we said goodbye to Micah as he got onto the airport shuttle and headed for one of a few planes that will take him back to Kuwait. With hugs, kisses and tears, we ended his 12 day R & R. During those 12 days, we were able to squeeze in quite a bit and make quite a few good memories. But now we are left with just those memories, and pictures to remind us of them...these 12 days have been bittersweet for me.
We actually pulled off the surprise for the boys. Cam is still too young to really understand it all, but Evan was literally shocked into silence when he saw Micah come off the plane. All he could do was hold his hand to his mouth, smile and giggle...that was a priceless moment. The rest of the time, Evan was by daddy's side helping him do all the little things that needed done around the house. He also got a few special "Daddy/Evan trips", and each time he returned home with the biggest smile to tell me all about it. Cam had special time with Micah as well and loved it, even though he can't vocalize it yet.
But I could see it...the way the boys adore their father, the way they look up to him for guidance (even if just about what toy to buy at the zoo), the way his love and approval matters to them. These are the memories I treasure most...just seeing "my boys" all together again. So now, I deal with the heartbreak of having them apart one more time. Evan has spent all day just playing with army trucks, helicopters and airplanes. He doesn't talk much about it other than to say he misses daddy, but playing with things that remind him of daddy is his way of coping...mine is crying my eyes out like a big baby.
Most people (especially my family) describe me as independent and stubborn...yet this is one time in my life I find myself vulnerable. I wouldn't have traded anything in the world for the time we had to be a family again...to play, laugh and cry together again...but all of those memories make this time of seeing him leave a little bit harder. Now my best friend, the one person I can talk to about anything must leave me again. R & R truely was bittersweet.......
Beth,
I am praying for you, Evan and Camden every day. I know Micah will return home soon safely. I pray for him too.
God Bless you all.
Phil
Posted by: Phil | September 30, 2008 at 11:16 PM
Ok Beth, you're killing me! I am bawling like a baby just reading this. Have you ever considered writing a book? I am so glad you had a great week with Micah. I can't imagine how you felt watching him board that plane yet again, or how you drove away from the airport able to see thru tears...I would have been a big blubbery mess. I choke up and tear reading all of your emotions through your stories and columns. I really don't know how you do it. Evan seems so gown up, being able to deal with daddy being gone for years out of his life, and Camden hopefully will never know what it's like to deal with that. I pray to God that you never have to endure this again.
Stay strong. Write me anytime...not that I can really say or do much to change the situation, but if you ever just want a place for a letter to go to vent... send it my way. I think about you often (and you as well Micah) and hope to God your strength continues.
God bless all of you.
Love your Canadian cousin ;-)
Posted by: KristaOLeary | July 24, 2008 at 09:10 PM